


Two Loners In Love

by gracca_amorosa



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Chapter Two is explicit, Gen, Gentle Kissing, Gentleness, Mutual Pining, Separations, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracca_amorosa/pseuds/gracca_amorosa
Summary: You and Saru are in the same class in Starfleet Academy, and neither of you have many friends. When you partner up for a project, you learn that friendship can have its advantages.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking about this since I saw this big pink goob, so bear with me.

You and he both sat at the edges of the class, raising your hands as often as you knew the answers but otherwise not speaking much. The only real difference was that he was more than two meters tall and the only one of his entire species in the Academy; you were just an average sort of Human with an anger problem and one too many disciplinary notes in your file. Your glance always landed on him, but whose didn't? He was a hard person to miss.

This class was meant to teach history, but it was just as much an excuse to get the young cadets to actually work together in teams. Often times the teams were chosen by the teacher, but this time, this blessed time she let her pupils choose their own partners. "You will need to learn eventually who you can rely on, and that is something only you can figure out. This will be a semester long project, so please choose carefully."

You glance around for a moment and your heart skips a beat - everyone has already paired off. A rising panic threatens you until you see him raise his hand - the Kelpien, waving you over to him. 

Solidarity in friendlessness.

"My name is Saru," he says when you finally pushed through the sea of bodies, and you introduce yourself in turn. "I know we do not know one another, but-"

"No need to apologize," you reply. "I'm sure we'll do fine." You give him a small smile and notice for the first time his nervous demeanor. You had assumed he was pushy, given the way he acted in class - there's no proof he's not like that, you remind yourself. But the corners of his mouth turn down, and his hands are clasped tightly in his lap. You take this in with a small, dry laugh, and the two of you leave the classroom together.

\----------

"Saru, what do you think of this?" You point to a paragraph on your Padd and he leans in close to read. It has been two months since you started working together, and the two of you have become friends. Or at least, you want to believe you are. You can see Saru smile now (or at least you thought he was smiling, the Kelpien facial structure made that somewhat hard to confirm) and he does not stay so far away from you as he once had. 

You can't help but look at him as he reads, his eyes skimming quickly over the words. You are endlessly fascinated by his face, and while at first you were perturbed by this, after a while you just let yourself stare.

At first, Saru would notice you staring and both of you would look away, embarrassed, but at some point he had just started looking back. Now, he glances over at you and explains why the passage you found was inadequate for the project.

You knew it would not be up to standard when you pointed it out to him, but you couldn't help yourself.

\----------

Two weeks later a group of students are waiting outside of your group work carrel, and immediately they begin jeering at Saru. He stands his ground, but you stand for him, and with a guttural cry and practiced fists half of the kids are on the ground and the other half are run away. You can see the doubt in the fallen students' eyes as the retreat away from your panting form, and then a gentle but large hand is on your shoulder. You turn and look up into the frightened face of Saru, knowing that this is the first time he has touched you. His hand is cool and the pressure is welcome, even as you hear professors descend upon you in order to question your motives.

"Thank you," is all he says, but it leaves you with an overwhelming sense of warmth while you are being led away.

\----------  
The last of the month, and your project is almost complete. You and Saru are sitting in a dormitory lounge, close to one another on a well-worn couch. You are both laughing at the antics of a couple of older students who had attempted to steal a small shuttlecraft - they had not managed to get far, but had managed to streak nude through campus while making their escape. 

Seeing Saru smile, hearing his laugh was the highlight of your day. You feel yourself blush as you admit this to yourself, but it doesn't keep you from pantomiming the escaping kids just to see his smirk.

You sit up and sit on your knees in order to make yourself taller. Sometimes it was easier to look Saru in the eyes when you spoke, and while you weren't sure if it made him feel better it was more entertaining for you to pretend to be seven feet tall. 

"Do you think we'll do well on the assignment?" you ask in a moment of seriousness.

"I think we have done as well as we can," he responds with a shrug, lacing his fingers together. Your heart beats a little faster, and he has not yet looked away. For two months you have been getting closer to one another like this, just sitting and talking about anything, class or other students or teachers. The idea that you will soon be free of one another bothers you. You were not sure if he would want - you are not sure what you want.

You are positive you know what you want.

"How do you feel about kissing?" Saru had looked away, looking out of the window of the dormitory into the night sky, but this brings him back quickly.

For a moment he does not respond, and why would he? What gave you the idea that he wanted this? Because he was kind? Because he was friendly?

"I don't think anything of kissing," Saru says with surprise, and you slide backwards off of the couch, disgusted with yourself. You begin to apologize profusely, wondering if you should just bolt, but then his slender fingers are around your wrist and he is pulling you back. Even when he is sitting you are barely taller than him. 

"I haven't thought about kissing because I have never been kissed." This is said with head bent low, eyes not catching yours but his hand is still around your wrist. 

So you are the brave one. You look at him directly, until he looks back at you, and slowly you slide yourself into his lap, straddling him. He has told you about his people; that he is a prey species, that he is more skittish than Starfleet believes is appropriate, that right below the surface there is always a flight response ready to take hold, and you know you cannot scare him. You are not a gentle sort, he knows this, and yet he is still here, this close to you, his hands sliding awkwardly up your arms for lack of something better to do, and you let yourself feel what you had been denying this whole time - you had, slowly, fallen in love with this gentle man. His soft eyes strayed over your face in a way that you were not accustomed to, and you knew the same was true for him.

Without another word, you cup his pointed face and draw it to you, kissing him deeply and honestly, and you hope he ends up liking kissing.

\----------

Several months later, you wake up in an over-large bed, wearing nothing. That first kiss had led to much more, and that same night your fumbling hands and limbs worked together to make love. Now, it was a common occurrence and one you would never tire of. You stretch yourself to full height and are still a half meter smaller than the man laying sleeping beside you. It just means your mouth can get to more of him, you tell yourself, but in reality you are thrilled by his height. Even more, you are thrilled that he carried it so gracefully.

"We will graduate soon," he says with a yawn, and you gently lay kisses all across his face, and then lower, smiling at the small noises you elicit. 

"You will be near the top of the class, too." you roll out of bed and slide on your uniform, throwing his on top of him. "Are you okay?" you ask as he sighs deeply.

"What if we do not get assigned to the same vessel?" he asks quietly, and you are not sure what to say to that. The thought had not occurred to you.

The two of you had spent almost a full year in each other's company, and you had never remembered having such a good friend. Someone who you understood, and who could depend on you without believing you to be too dramatic for your own good.

"Of course we will end up together, Saru, how could we not?"

\----------

Saru stands in line for his assignment on an entirely different continent than you. Both assigned to five year missions going to different parts of the galaxy. You have promised to keep in touch, of course, but you know how these things are. 

When you get to your quarters on the Starship, your new home, you cry so hard you are afraid there is nothing left of you.

You drift off to sleep, alone for the first time in over a year.

You wake up to the sound of an incoming transmission.


	2. Two Loners' Biology Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Saru get verrrrry close to one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I use the word gently too much :3c

The first time you see Saru’s room is almost immediately after you kiss him for the first time - you were on his lap, in the dorm lounge, then there are students returning from their classes and he gestures for you to follow him. Only seconds before the other students reach the lounge, you are closing his door behind you.

It’s sparse, but the bits and pieces you see scattered around are obviously sentimental; dried flowers laying next to small idols and living, thriving plants in the corners and on the desk. His bed is mussed and over-long in order to accommodate his gangly frame, and before you can see the details of anything else he is sitting down on his messy bed and gently, quietly, nervously asking you to sit down once more.

For a moment you look at Saru, and you can feel your heart beat fast in your chest. You make a decision.

You straddle him, and he lets out a breath of surprise before leaning into your now more passionate kisses. Your lips and hands explore his face and down his neck and he follows you with small movements, and the delicacy of these gestures paired with the sheer size of him made you hot, very hot indeed.

You are sliding off his Starfleet jacket and the swirls and ridges of his face are mirrored on his shoulders, his chest, and further down. He is sliding off your jacket and his nails dig gently into your soft arms and sides as he does so. Both of your breath runs ragged now, this intimacy new to both of you and welcome.

Gently you push him down to the bed and you both shimmy out of your pants as well. You were never one to half-ass anything, and you didn’t see why this would be any different. 

Your mouth is on him and his hands are on you, and you are both exploring tender places, warm places where the nerves seem to be closer to the surface. You make your way down and down and down and are momentarily puzzled by the blank space between Saru’s legs when suddenly you see him bloom.

What is at first mostly smooth blooms into a four-petaled flower with a small stamen in the middle, and you can see the petals grow thicker with arousal the more your mouth and hands explore. Saru’s hand finds its way to your neck and presses down only slightly, leading you without ordering you, and you are too happy to oblige.

Your mouth is on each of his petals, your tongue lapping at the ridged inside and up and down his thighs, and both of you make small noises when his stamen grows hard. You slide him into your mouth and suck and lick until he is truly moaning, and his petals are folding in again, this time as he comes for you, fingers in your hair and your name on his lips.

After you get the full introduction to Kelpien biology, the two of you have a very busy night.


	3. Two Loners Talk About Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Saru have a serious talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man idk

You and Saru are sitting on his bed, a Padd in each of your hands. You are supposed to be studying for an exam for the next day, but instead you are staring, entranced, at an old Earth television series. You found the program in the Starfleet archives and you were sure it was meant for a class on old Earth media, but instead you and Saru are already six episodes in with no plan on stopping.

Your head is against his bare shoulder and your arm is twined in his; neither of you speak but you are both comfortable with this mutual silence. You look up at him, and he looks at you, and you get up on your knees to kiss him. He always wanted to lean down, but you would just laugh and cling to his neck, and he would wrap his arms around you, and they were long enough they would go all the way round.

You hear a commotion in the hallway and you both turn to the door - you can hear shouts but cannot make out the words, and then suddenly a body slams into the door. You fall back into Saru and his threat ganglia extend from the nape of his neck briefly before he is up and at the door, but whatever had just happened was already over. The only indication that there was a scuffle is a single cracked Padd laying in the hallway. Saru picks it up and looks around the hallway briefly before laying it on his desk, smoothing down his neck and returning to bed.

You can still feel your heart beating fast when you slide into his lap, and you can hear his ragged breathing as well. Neither of you were equipped to deal with sudden frights, and no matter how well you did in practice, you were still far behind Saru in conquering your fears.

"How do you do it?" you ask, mumbling into his chest. "You're a Kelpien, you're supposed to be afraid, and yet I'm worse off than you!"

He looks down at you and you an tell he is frowning, even if his face does not show it. "Just because I was bred to be prey does not mean I cannot take care of myself."

"I know, I know," you say, regretting your question. You hold his face in your hands and for a moment he does not move, but then he sighs and kisses your palm. If you were a better person you would drop the subject, but you were not a better person. Just an anxious one.

"I always react with fear. When someone is shooting at me, even when I know it's fake; when I think someone is following me, even though there is absolutely no reason to believe that; when I think I see something out of the corner of my eye when I am about to sleep and have to spend the next hour awake, fighting the urge to yell. How do you ignore that?"

Saru pauses before he speaks.

"I don't ignore these feelings. I look at them, analyze them, and then decide how to act. I would be dead already if I did not. I wouldn't bee in the Academy if I did not." He looks at you with something akin to sadness, and you wrap your arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around your waist and for a moment you sit in your favorite position. You begin to drift off, eyes fluttering shut when he speaks again.

"You have to learn to live with your fear, and not let it control you."

"Can you teach me?" you whisper into his ear, and his lips are at your cheek, then your neck, then your shoulder, and you lean into him. You straddle his slender frame easily, and gently the two of you make love.


End file.
